Although Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday does draw near, the title of this post is not related. Rather it refers to Charlie who, I like to believe, is once again free to run to his heart’s content. We had a hard night. It served to make our path more clear and this morning we drove Charlie to town and asked the emergency room vet to help him rest easy. Oddly, after calling the animal hospital, while talking to Steve about what they told me, Charlie lifted his head and looked at us, more alert than his recent usual. I said “Charlie, I know you hear us talking about this and now would be a good time to give us a sign what you want us to do.” Then he barked. Forcefully and repeatedly. It seemed a sign but of what? I tried giving him water. He declined, groaned and laid his head back down. Minutes later he barked his weaker bark, the one he’s been using to tell us he needs tending. I helped him up and opened the door to see if he wanted out. He did. He went down to the garden, peed and then laid down in the rain. He was very clear that this was where he wanted to be and he didn’t want to get up again. We didn’t make him. Instead we prepared to go. Steve carried him to the truck and into the hospital. When the vet administered the shot, there was hardly a change. His life force was so weak already, its leaving was almost imperceptible.

We drove home quietly. In tears.

It’s not quite noon but I think I just might get drunk.