Wednesday, May 25th, 2005 is now a permanently sad day – it marks the loss of a friend, a “kid”, a big brother, and most of all a very very very loved Buddy! Buddy Hardimon, born 11-11-92 left this earthly world to go to a place where he is constantly petted, fed and can pee wherever and whenever he feels like it. Even more importantly, where he plays with all the “babies” (toys) he wants to play with and be part of a pack, maybe even the leader of the pack.
Buddy was struggling with a few different medical problems in the past week or so, but Monday he really began to show signs of being sick when he refused to eat – even CHEESE and ground beef (made for him at 5:30 am on a Saturday morning). Tuesday night he lay on the floor with his “dad” and let him know that he was a happy dog but not feeling well at all. So, in a rush between classes on Wednesday, I dropped him at the vet for more tests – knowing that the news was not good, but never expecting it to be as bad as it was. I was expecting the call to say “Come pick him up.” But the call came and it was news that said just the opposite. Sadly, Buddy is never to return to his home; to play with his “brothers” (Jack and Caleb); to bark at the kids on bikes going by the house; walk with grandpa; demand his place in the bathroom next to the tub after Shaun’s run and drop food all over the living room rug to spite me.
Shaun and I met at the vet and spent hours sitting on the sidewalk out front just petting, loving, and looking at our special baby. The bad times of peeing on the wood floor, taking food out of the trash can and spreading it all over the house and challenging me to power contests, were forgotten. Our hearts broke as he let out a couple of last barks at the cars driving by and wagging his tail when Shaun spoke to him. At 8:30 pm I sat with him as the Dr. proceeded to quietly end his discomfort. He slowly lowered his head and left this world. The moment just SUCKED – there is no nicer way to put it! It was one of those moments of “it was the right thing to do” but it didn’t make the pain any less.
We walk around the house now waiting to see him, or step on him, or hear his toes tap dancing on the wood floors – but we hear silence. As Shaun said, “the house is filled with a heavy humidity that lingers in the air”. With each day we hope it gets easier to live without our “oldest baby”, but the one thing is for sure, he is still loved and sorely missed!
Michele and Shaun,
I wish there were words to make it better. I know all too well that there aren’t. Buddy will always live in your hearts and minds, and someday the terrible hole in your hearts will be filled with those memories, and the pain will lesson. My thoughts are with you.
Love, Laura
Hi you two, I know you are both hurting lots. I am sure the tears were flowing as you wrote Michele! Mine are just reading it! Just know I love you both and Buddy too! And wish I was there to comfort you although I am not sure it would make it any better. Comfort each other and Caleb and Jack will love you lots. I am really sorry this happened but God will be there with you.
Hi Shaun and Michele. Sorry to hear of Buddy’s sickness…and death. Of course you hurt. Death is, as St. Paul put it, the last enemy of all relationships. I also felt loss as I read your words, and I am thousands of miles away. Buddy’s presence will always be in our hearts, wherever we are. I even have a regret, too. Like, I should have ignored the commands of Michele and worries of Shaun and let Buddy take a swim in Buddy’s “pool” by the railroad tracks. I was tempted the last time I was there, because I still remember how much I laughed as he tried to bite the bubbles in the water. He loved that swim! But he and I did get a couple of nice walks when he visited us when Shaun ran at Cincinnati. As usual, Buddy barked when I put on my shoes, bowed his head while I tried to put on his lease, wanted to poop on every yard, smell every tree and bush, and pee on every inch of ground. As far as Buddy was concerned…I was called by God to take him for walks so he could claim the world that was his. Buddy brought you (and me) lots of laughter and love and joy, as well as problems and troubles and vet bills and lots and lots of dog hair. He even left a little scar on Michele’s hand to remember him by. Guess that is the nature of every real relationship. A person (or puppy) leaves his or her mark on our hearts, and forever becomes part of our memories. Thanks, Shaun and Michele, for bringing Buddy into my life and letting him be my “buddy” also. Grieve? Of course! But, in the midst of your grief, give thanks to God for the gift of Buddy in your lives. Love, Dad
Reading about Buddy made my heart ache. No words can lessen the pain and sense of loss. All I can offer is that your sorrow is shared. The challenge is to remember all the joy and good times that you had with him, rather than to dwell on the hurt you feel from his absence.
I’m sure over time, the pain will lessen for you as it has for us with Charlie, and Joey, and Missy and Tyler (not to mention Midnight, Tuxedo, Kiely and Bamboo).
My thoughts are with you.
Sometimes it’s good to cry, and this song is guaranteed to bring tears. At least to my eyes. Every dog is unique, and though the dog in this song isn’t Buddy (especially the “never barks” part), the sense of love and loss is universal.
It’s a large mp3 file (2.36 MB) so if your connection is slow, make sure you have time before you click the link below to download and play it. And of course, the disclaimer … this ill-gotten file is not for commercial distribution … it is solely intended to further the grief process by making you dissolve helplessly into tears.
It always makes me smile too.
He’s a Good Dog, by Fred Eaglesmith
Thanks everyone! Lots more tears rolled as I read them but laughs too! Today has been a better day – we went to the pet store (and survived seeing many doggies shopping but thankfully no Goldens) to buy harnesses and chains to for Jack and Caleb. We came home and the weather held out for us to try them out on the boys. Jack LOVED it, Caleb didn’t! No surprise there. We hooked the cords up to the laundry line so he could cover more space and he did! Jack rolled in the grass, sniffed the trees, walked through the flowers like it was a jungle. He had a blast and was so much fun to watch. Caleb tried it but quickly got out of his harness and ran for the back door. He was happy to sit in the window and just watch Jack. Next time I will send pictures – I forgot to take them this time around.
And to Steve – I don’t know how you and Laura have done it with 8 losses (not to mention chickens, ducks, pigeons, etc…) one is enough and we have really really strict rules with Jack and Caleb that they’d better never die on us!
Michele and Shaun, I cannot imagine your pain and ache reading your posting and those of our family. But I found this one quote I believe to be true– “Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” -Roger Caras. Buddy made your lives rich, and you, in turn, made his life whole. We are all blessed to have beloved animals in our lives, and forgive them for their errors. Be well.