Never have I heard, “Good morning, Ma’am” and “After you, Ma’am” directed my way like last week while attending Nicole’s Air Force Basic Training graduation. I felt old. Nicole herself is a bit on the old side, having enlisted just before the age cut-off of 28. Going at the final hour, she ended up shipping out stand-by, taking the place of a recruit who had joined up for security forces. Although she scored high on her aptitude tests and had selected a career path of aircraft electronics, as it turns out, Nicole will be a cop in the military. Wow. It’s still so hard to believe. Hardest of all to accept is that due to her Security Force assignment, she is likely to be deployed to Iraq within 6 months. We love and support her, and are ever-so proud of her strength and commitment. And this trip was more a bucket of tears than a barrel of laughs.

As wonderful as it was to see Nicole, and share the experience with her long-time friend, Jodee, and my mom and dad, nothing could erase the nagging fear hanging over us. We tried to “suck it up” as boot camp trainees are taught to do. I think we “jacked it up” instead. Public displays of affection and emotion are frowned upon. We limited the displays of affection but emotions ran too high to hide.

Nicole herself seemed fine. Composed, confident and calm. Dress blues suit her, even with the “BCG”s (so-called birth control glasses) she wore instead of contacts. We didn’t get to see her in her “BDU”s (battle dress uniform); it’s hard to imagine her in camo gear with big black military boots, but that is what she will mostly wear during the next 14 weeks of technical training.

Back home a couple of days, we’re still trying to settle in to work and school and mundane tasks. It all seems so trivial and we haven’t found our center yet. Maybe a long run and push-ups would help. I think I’ll settle for taking the dog for a walk.